May Event Guide

Words by Matthew Scott


Milk the Cow Podcast presents. Dave Clark @ Cosmic Ballroom, 1st May

Milk the Cow have made quite a name for themselves in recent years. With competitions asking you to take a picture of yourself in the funniest pose possible with that cow that stood for ages outside Chillingham Collectables, they blend good, old fashioned rave music with heaps and heaps of slapstick fun. But that’s not all. Mr. Cow (if that is indeed his name) is one of the foremost political voices (in my opinion at least) in the region, emphasising that what is important in life is not how much we earn, or how ‘successful’ we are, or the material possessions that we own. No, what is fundamental to building a better life for all of us are simple ideas of compassion, empathy, and ‘being nice’ to one another. As I like to think of it, Milk the Cow embraces a tagline of ‘indifference to difference’, showing that whilst we are all different, real change and democracy occurs when these differences are discounted and made irrelevant and proper rhizomatic debate is held. The music isn’t bad either. On the 1st of May they have techno god Dave Clark up for a special 2 hour set at Cosmic Ballroom, with support from Darkmode and the usual band of industrial, gabber spinning fellows. Expect a rave.

Pirate Material present. Royal-T b2b Flava D @ WHQ, 8th May

Pirate Material continue with their Butterz showcases with this monster of a show. Having brought up Elijah and Skilliam the other week, on the 8th of May they welcome two more of the buttery biscuit family to the hallowed decks of WHQ. Going back to back for a mammoth two hours will be the immensely talented Royal-T and the immensely talented (and beautiful) Flava D. If you don’t know what Pirate Material are about, they are probably the only night in Newcastle that continually pushes the boundaries, patiently watching the currents of underground dance music like a vigilant hawk and then sweeping those currents up to our fair city. DJ EZ, Addison Groove, and now this…we can’t wait to see what they’ve got on the horizon after this one.

FKOF x Exit x Chew x Standard Procedure: The Library Sessions Round II @ Mining Institute, 9th May

Quite possibly the wildest quadruple collaboration on our shores returns for their second instalment of equally wild…wildness on the 9th of May. Having hosted their raucous opening party alongside the worldwide launch of Chew TV a couple of months back, this time they welcome Fat Pie bossman and half Hip-Hop half stand up comedian Devvo to the stage alongside a secret headliner who is to be announced closer to the time. This headliner is from Fat Kid On Fire, and I was very politely told to piss off when I tried to find out who it was. Nonetheless, what we really like about this line-up is the sheer amount of local talent involved. Local duo and OHOD favourites Six Sunsets will be bringing their inimitable fusion of house, garage, dubstep, and god knows what else; while other local duo and OHOD favourites Acetate and Kre will be crushing ribcages with the gunshot snares of dubstep and grime. Also on the bill are the Exit DJs, J. Fisher from Standard Procedure, and the whole shebang is hosted by Zico, Photes, and Shaddo. Got all that? Good. See you there.

Exit presents. Distance, Tunnidge, and Thelem @ WHQ, 15th May

Holy fucking shitballs. Not content with unleashing the godfather of dubstep Youngsta on us last month, the Exit family have somehow raised the bar even higher, to such a level that most pole vaulters would fall dismally short of. Firstly, we have Distance. In his decade or so in the dubstep game, he has released two astonishingly good albums on Planet Mu, and since then has been consistently churning out tunes on the likes of Chestplate that go deep, deep into the fieriest magma chamber of the dubstep tectonic plate system. Secondly, we have Tunnidge, also a veteran of Chestplate but also of Deep Medi; Mala’s pioneering label that is pretty much the go-to imprint if you want to find out exactly what dubstep is and what it sounds like at any given moment in time. Last but not least, we have Thelem. This guy is ridiculous. In the short time he’s been around, he’s already chalked up releases on Osiris Music, the now sadly defunct Black Box, and also every dubstep vinyl DJs dream label (or nightmare label, depending on if you miss out on their limited presses) Innamind. Once again, you can expect an absolute lesson in what true, genuine, proper dubstep sounds like from a crew who have made it their mission to revive the sound in the North East. Salute.

Evolution Emerging Festival @ Ouseburn Valley, 23rd May

This isn’t the sort of thing we would normally go for on here. 40 artists playing across 9 venues is a bit of a headache, as you can guarantee the bands and artists that you really want to see will all be on at the same time. Our advice is to just head down to Blank Studios and stay there all day. At 7.45 you’ll get to see our man Symmatik perform his absolutely amazing debut EP live, after him you’ll get to see a young and promisingly talented singer-songwriter called Joe Allen, and after that you’ll get to see what will no doubt be a harrowingly different style of folk songwriting from temptress Keiandra. Last but not least, topping the bill is Kaneda Records bossman Ako, who we interviewed a little while ago, and whose daringly experimental, droning textures will have you shivering into the cold Ouseburn air afterwards. We’ll be there, so if you see us (probably slumped against the bar after 8 pints of Cascade), come and say hello.

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